Baconsale

In brightest day, in blackest night, no bad superhero movie shall escape our sight. Because we asked you, the listener, to research spiders in the Amazon and give us your worst offerings from Marvel, DC, and every other corner of comic book adaptations. Now, dig on this: Joel and Kent are going to build a movie marathon watchlist using the poorly made films you gave us. Zack will then have to decide which awful watch party he’s going to attend based solely on what is playing. And justice is blind, ai’ght?

 

What killed the dinosaurs? The not pressing play age!

We've been staring at all these Disney live-action remakes ‘long as we can remember, never really knowing why they keep making them. But they do, and Joel and Kent are now ready to review the flesh & blood adaptation of Moana. Yes, we’re going to spoil it because it’s the story you already know from the 2016 animated movie. Zack is even going to stick around for spoilers. And while we’re going to give you a lot more Heihei, we apologize for the contagious yawning that happens during this BaconBit.

 

Press play to find out if this new musical is shiny!

On this episode of Baconsale, a throwaway joke from our fruit tiering episode has now become a reality. Joel, Kent, Zack, and our friend Babs have created a list of 18 varieties of nuts & seeds (THAT’S A LOT OF NUTS!) and are going to be ranking them based on taste, texture, and the ability to kill. We’ll be discussing the almond, cashew, chestnut, hazelnut, macadamia nut, peanut, pine nut, pistachio nut, walnut (would you stop naming nuts!), and more. We’ll be sharing our feelings, our children’s thoughts, some random facts, and a few Bible verses as we chat about our mass consumption of these drupes, legumes, and kernels.

 

Press play to learn the shape of the amygdala.

On Baconsale Episode 503, Joel, Kent, and Zack shared some of the best and worst debut albums of popular bands. Now, we’re following up that conversation with a direct sequel. It’s going to be more personal, a little darker, and somewhat edgier. First of all, we’re going to discuss the second albums of the artists previously discussed. Following that, we’ll share our picks for the best sophomore albums of all time. Though, despite Zack’s best efforts, we mostly stay in the 90s. We’re kind of predictable that way. And even though this episode will flop now, audiences will begin to appreciate it years down the road.

 

Press play to get Pinkertoned!

 

Also, visit Baconsale.com to listen to some of the sophomoric songs we mentioned on this episode on our official Spotify playlist.

The Toy Story franchise has been so successful that it’s time for a reboot/spin-off! On this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent, and Zack will be playing the classic game of M.A.S.H. to create another cash-grab, er, sequel for this animated film series. A random number generator will determine who is directing our movies, what toys from our childhood will be included, and who will be giving those characters voices. Then, it’s up to you, the listener, to decide which of our films you’d choose to watch if they were real.

 

Press play to see how much variety there is in the Toy Story universe.

Welcome to Earth in 1996, listener! On this episode of Baconsale, we’ve got cows because we’re talking about movies that were released 30 years ago. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to listen to Joel, Kent, and Zack, choose their personal Mt. Rushmore of ’96 films. Following that, things will get topsy turvy as we choose life and pick comedies, action flicks, and dramas that we haven’t discussed that much before. Do you like scary movies? Because we’ll include a few of those, too, on this winding ro-ad of categories. And while you may wonder (O-neder?) why we didn’t include some of the biggest box office earners, just remember that there's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that?

 

The lamp has gone out and I'm writing in the darkness. Please call the cable guy and then press play.

If you found out we weren't alone, if Baconsale showed you, proved it to you, would that frighten you? Well, the day is finally here. On this BaconBit, we’re ready to review Steven Spielberg’s latest film, Disclosure Day. We will begin this review in a spoiler-free manner, offering our thoughts and emotions about this science fiction movie while Kent interprets for Zack and Joel. Then, after Zack asks us to compare Disclosure Day to other Spielberg films, he will depart, and Joel and Kent will bluntly discuss the plot in its entirety.

 

Press play. Listen.

Since we did our man crush episode last year, it’s time to balance the scales once again and discuss beautiful female celebrities. Our friend Babs is joining us to share her collaborated answers and to keep Kent in line (spritz-spritz!). We’ll be sharing our picks for such categories as Best Eyes, Superest Supermodel, Getting By on Her Looks (Only), Triple Threat, and Marriage Material. And along the way, we’ll use our height-dar, bond over Bond girls, and make comparisons to Newsies.

 

Press play before you break Ben Affleck’s heart.

This year, Joel, Kent, and Zack decided to Eat Mor Chikin. However, what we thought was going to be a quick & simple menu quest ended up grilling us pretty hard. Nevertheless, we expertly managed the drive-thru, mobile-thru, take-out, and dine-in experiences and ate everything on the menu at Chick-fil-A. It’s our pleasure to kick off this episode of Baconsale with the history of this chicken-centric restaurant, following which we’ll discuss the best and worst sandwiches, wraps, salads, sides, treats, beverages, sauces, and breakfast items. Our conversation may be frosted with spicy takes, but we’ll also reward you with some hacks to save a few cents.

 

Press play before we close on Sunday.

Get over here! The Baconsale temps have been taken to the prison realm, where they will be in charge of sorting 18 characters from the Mortal Kombat video game franchise into minimum-, medium-, and maximum-security jail cells. Excellent! Where Joel, Kent, and Zack will put these champions will depend on their fighting abilities, how scary they seem, and sometimes how attractive they are. And while this episode wouldn’t get a parental advisory, we will be discussing some iconic fatalities, which some listener could find disturbing. It may not be a flawless victory for each decision, but we’ll be sure to keep the conversation toasty as we discuss classic television shows and the importance of multilingualism.

 

Test your might by pressing play.