Baconsale

Episode 424: Mummy Dearest

When three podcast archeologists stumble upon the tomb of Ba-Con-Sale during an expedition, they unknowingly unleash a horrible curse. The curse… of having to watch some really dry movies. Because on this episode, we’re discussing mummies. Joel, Kent, and Zack have excavated some historical accounts & various mummy facts, and they’re ready to put them on display for all to hear. And we’re not just talking about Egyptian pharaohs & ancient tombs, we’ll also be sharing tales of European bog bodies, Japanese monk pits, and accidental zombies from the Americas. Then we’ll wrap things up by giving our approval (or disapproval) of a sarcophagus-full of mummy films. WARNING: Some of the mummification descriptions may be a little grotesque, so we don’t recommend eating while listening.

 

It doesn’t matter if you’re Team Imhotep or Team Kharis, press play!

Episode 423: More Scary Stories to Chill Your Bones

It’s time for Baconsale to share some more Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark! Can we get a bizee, bizee, BUZ-OOOOOO-O-O-O? Zack didn’t grow up reading these creepy children’s books by Alvin Schwartz, so Kent & Joel are ready to educate and alarm him. On this episode, we’ll be reading such terrifying tales such as “Maybe You Will Remember,” “The Viper,” “The Appointment,” “The Girl Who Stood on a Grave,” “The Wendigo,” “The Cat’s Paw,” and “Sam’s New Pet.” We’ll also be sharing a couple short stories we enjoy from other horror anthologies. As we do, we’ll try our best to be serious and keep the mood spooky, despite our attempts at doing different voices & accents.

 

Press play to let Stephen Gammell’s disturbing drawings haunt your nightmares once again.

Episode 422: The Monster M.A.S.H.

We were working the lab, late one night, and agreed to bring this idea to light: what if we played the classic schoolchildren’s game M.A.S.H., but with a Halloween twist? So on this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent & Zack are each going to create a horror movie right before your ears, completely based on the horrifying power of chance. A random number generator will pick our genre, director, rating, actors, monster, and more. Fate will even choose whether we live or die. And after we check our vibes and Zack earns some film cred, we’ll leave it up to you to decide which one of our films is best. But remember to beware the i-n-g!

 

Put on your Denny’s goggles and double-tap that play button.

Episode 421: Halloween Costume Parade

What are you going to be on Halloween night? A witch, or a goblin, or a ghost? Well, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re kicking off the spooky season by taking a look at the various costumes we’ve worn in Octobers past. Joel, Kent, and Zack will be rummaging through their guising closets to pick answers for such categories as First One You Remember Wearing, Best Pop Culture Character, Most Embarrassing, Scariest, Easiest to Put Together, Most Elaborate, and Personal Favorite. And as we go door-to-door in our memories (and Zack stalks Kent on Facebook), we hope you’re playing along at home and possibly even getting some ideas for a future Halloween costume.

 

Press play to put on those leotards for the ‘Gram.

Episode 420: Concert, iPod, Erase

Why should films get to have all the fun? We’re modifying a classic Baconsale game to focus on songs, albums, and bands. In each musical match-up, Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to decide which of these choices will be experienced during one amazing concert, which one will be saved on our iPods (remember those?), and which one will be erased from existence. Some decisions are quite easy, others bring back junior high school dance memories, and some lead to discussions about murder. We hope you enjoy playing along as we give this new twist on an old show a shot.

 

Press play to be left of the dealer.

Episode 419: The Drama of Dramas!

Buongiorno, listener! Our mama always said, Baconsale is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. And that’s certainly the case on this episode, where we let you call it and submit the most dramatic films ever, which we’ve now put on a bracket to fight for their freeeeeedom! However, hope can be a dangerous thing, and not every pick is going to be king of the world. Some of you might even say, “you broke my heart” when your pick doesn’t make it past a round. But frankly, my dear listener, these are all well-made & emotional movies, and power is when we have every justification to kill one of them, and we don't. Sometimes we’re rushing through our discussions, sometimes we’re dragging, but no matter what happens, we’ll still be your huckleberry and we’ll always have Paris.

 

How do you like them apples? Well, press play and earn this, even if you can’t handle the truth.

 

And be sure to seize the day by downloading the official Drama of Dramas bracket at Baconsale.com.

Episode 418: Ranking Condiments with Confidence

Let’s face it, listener, some condiments just don’t cut the mustard. Therefore, it’s time for Baconsale to relish in our opportunity to tier 24 popular table sauces. First, Joel, Kent & Zack are going to try to come to a consensus of what a condiment is, and then we’re going to say what we think about salsa, rank ranch dressing, debate about Dijon, and more. We’re going to throw a lot of hot (sauce) takes your way on this episode, but we’re sure you’ll ketchup.

 

Wipe your fingies clean and press play to learn why butter deserves justice.

Episode 417: End of 2023 Movie Preview

With the WGA and the SAG-AFTRA both on strike, it’s uncertain if any movies will actually be coming out this fall or winter. Nevertheless, Baconsale must press on. Joel, Kent, and Zack are ready to let you know what might be hitting theaters and coming to streaming soon as we approach the end of 2023. Listen as we discuss long-awaited sequels, much-lamented prequels, and the death rattles of dying universes. We also give way too much attention to some of the joke answers and had to add in some editor’s notes for the films that already had their release dates pushed back after we recorded this episode.

 

Press play to hear why this was a good directing year for Kent.

Episode 416: How British Are We?

Oi there, listener! On this episode of Baconsale, we’ve decided to continue the course of Commonwealth pop culture by discussing jolly old England. This, of course, means Joel, Kent & Zack will be doing some truly awful accents and making some fairly harsh judgements. As we venture forth with a stiff upper lip, we’ll be conquering such categories as Best Chocolate/Candy, Craziest Monarch Story, Favorite Fictional English Character, Most Influential Television Series, Who Should Get Knighthood, and things we feel are Royally Overrated. We hope you enjoy this very American take on a small portion of Great Britain.

 

Pip pip! Cheerio! And all that rot. Now press play to discover Zack’s love for British bears, guvnor!

Episode 415: Avengers Mashemble!

Things aren’t looking good for the Marvel Cinematic Universe right now. Phase Four wasn’t very well received and Phase Five isn’t off to a great start. Therefore, Kevin himself gave Baconsale a call asked us to help save the MCU. Joel, Kent, and Zack are each going to create a screenplay for a blockbuster hit, using the tried-and-true method of M.A.S.H. And as we’re given our randomly chosen superheroes, villains, mentors, fighters, and comic relief characters, we’re going to do our best to weave together a story that will succeed at the box office. But watch out! Shape-shifting Skrulls are lurking in every round, making some of our picks less effective.

 

Press play to release the Dunn Cut.